The Pain of Anxiety: The Gift That Keeps on Giving
How could the pain of anxiety be a gift?
When my wife was going through the suffering of anxiety and depression it seemed like nothing was good. In fact, everything seemed terrible. The crippling effects of anxiety had devastated my wife and family to a degree that was unthinkable. Through it all, the most profound thing came to us through the words of a doctor. “Pain is a gift. A gift that keeps on giving”. As horrible as it sounded at the time, these words ring more true today than any other. Although at the time, it seemed like the “cheese slipped off his cracker”, another great term this doctor would occasionally use, years later we now understand the wisdom of his words.
The Power of Pain
Through the battle with anxiety and depression, there was the full gamut of emotions. Although there were plenty of miserable times of terror, tears, and hopelessness there were actually positives. Not many but a few. The pain forced not just my wife, but all of us to look at and analyze everything. We came to realize that anxiety did not just fall from the sky. The mirror of anxiety and depression forced us to take a hard look at ourselves in an entirely differently way. Yes, my wife had suffered a great deal when she was younger, living through a war (see story). But aside from all of this, we realized that she was not powerless to anxiety. It taught us that we can, could and needed to change our lives to overcome and prevent anxiety.
The proof is in the pudding as they say and several years after recovering from anxiety and depression my wife leads a happy and successful life. To keep balance, she has to have a certain amount of structure and discipline to her life. If she doesn’t she pays the price. She makes sure she eats right, gets rest, exercises and has positive social engagement. Gone are the days of dealing unnecessary stress and drama. Long gone are the days of running from one task, chore, or engagement to the next, trying to do everything perfectly. Far off in the rear view mirror are the times of needing to martyr herself to please others. With this in mind, prayer, naps, structured schedule, saying no, positive people, supplements, stretching/yoga, and art therapy are all part of the daily formula for goodness.
The Ripple of Anxiety
With all of the learning, understanding and cultivating a life that has and continues to fight off the demons of anxiety and depression there has been an overflow to the rest of us. As a result of these struggles, we as a family, have had the blessing of painful learning. Through this, we have learned how to establish and maintain boundaries with others but more importantly with ourselves. We now look a lot more seriously at self criticism, perfectionism, and self care in an entirely different way. Through the pain and suffering of anxiety we take every opportunity to look for ways of reducing stress. Anxiety has made us live differently, think differently, parent differenly and enjoy life differently. And yes, we enjoy life. Finally.
The pain of overcoming anxiety has helped my wife and the rest of our family learn about healthy living strategies, building positive relationships, and continually monitoring the way we live. Anxiety, as painful as it is, reveals itself to be a great teacher. It’s pain is so severe the lessons are long lasting and life changing. Through anxiety, depression and stress, good people can become great people and do great this for the world. This has impact.
It is hard to believe that there is good that can come from something so terrible, crippling, and devastating. Although impossible to see it when we are suffering, there can be great good that comes from it. For those deep in anxiety and depression know that the pain is not permanent. Look for opportunities to learn. Find opportunities to grow. Find those that can teach. Pray. Know that things do get better.