The Boiling Frog Theory and its relationship to anxiety is an interesting one. If you put a frog in hot water it will immediately jump out. The frog inherently knows that if it stays in the water it will die. Conversely, if you put a frog in cool water and gradually turn up the heat, the frog will not move. As the water gradually gets hotter and hotter the frog does not recognize the increase in heat. The frog will sit until it eventually cooks. As there is no sudden change in temperature, the frog does not know that it is in danger. Until it is too late.
What’s Cooking
The scenario of the boiling frog theory is not much different from those dealing with stress. Similarly to the frog that does not recognize the increasing heat, we often do not recognize increases in stress. Not at first anyways. Not until we hit the boiling or breaking point. This boiling, is often only recognized when serious anxiety symptoms have began. (See Anxiety Symptoms List). Unfortunately, this is often too late. By this time, anxiety and stress have gained serious momentum. From this point the pain becomes obvious. And life gets ugly.
If we could clearly feel and recognize the onset of stress and it’s effect on us we could make changes. Recognizing heightened stress, we could preemptively implement healthy strategies to help us reduce an eliminate tension before it severely impacts us. Unfortunately, this often does not happen. Because of the gradual onset of anxiety we often do not recognize it or worse downplay it. Therefor we do not respond. Anyone who has suffered or is suffering anxiety can tell you that falling into it easy. In fact most people do not even know what is happening or how it happened. Although easy to fall into, getting out can be hard. Really hard. Thankfully, unlike the frog, we have the capacity to deal with this situation.
Firstly, we need to recognize that what we are suffering is anxiety. With anxiety, it is often downplayed and dismissed. When people are suffering symptoms that are seeming not stress related, anxiety is the last thing that is assumed. It is really important to get medical advice for any symptom that is concerning to ensure that there are no serious medial conditions at hand. When these have been ruled out, anxiety treatment should begin. (Recognition and prevention articles to come). The next steps are to treat the root cause of anxiety and to build a strategy for recovery. If we have the right info and tools we can get out of the hot water earlier.
Because anxiety is terrifying, the first thing to recognize is that anxiety cannot hurt you. Even though it feels like it can, it can’t. Controlling fear is vital. Next is to get to work. Recover is not easy. More importantly, it takes great discipline (article to come), persistence and patience. Change does not happen overnight and there are ups and down.
Here are some crucial elements to recovery: -Therapy. Talking to the right people who can help. -Mild exercise. Stress release is key. Intensity and stimulation to be avoided. -Develop a nutrition plan. We are what we eat, and we feel what we eat. -Pinpoint negative element in life (coaching is helpful) -Reduce and eliminate negative stimuli (including people) -Implement healthy lifestyle strategies and routines
Faith in Recovery
At the time, it seems like it will never get better. But the good news is that it does. With the right tools and support, recovery from stress and anxiety happens.
Like mentioned in the blog post Anxiety: A Gift That Keeps on Giving, anxiety changes lives. Often for the better. Going through stress, anxiety and depression forces us to change. Transform. Evolve. Improve. Blossom. It is not easy, not pleasant, not pretty. The Boiling Frog Theory and Anxiety conditions can have a happy ending. It is going to be ok.
Anxiety, depression and stress related conditions are hard. They are had to detect, hard do diagnose and hard to treat. Maybe most significantly is that they are hard to communicate about. Instead of talking about it, people fake it. But there is a danger in not talking about anxiety.
Stress related conditions are at epidemic levels in all areas of society but there is not nearly enough said about it. Thousands of children in our schools suffer from anxiety. Our workplaces are flooded with people suffering from anxiety. Families are breaking down and lives are being severely impacted by stress related conditions. This epidemic is so prevalent in our society and in our cultures. In fact, in many cases stress, anxiety and depression has become the norm. So much that people live with day in and day out without talking about it. Faking it. This has an enormous cost.
Love and Care
Talking about anxiety has several very important benefits. Firstly, it lets other people know what is going on. This gives people that care the opportunity to care. The opportunity to help. Support is so important for people suffering anxiety related pain. Just knowing that others are there and they care is vital. Talking about the pain gives people (friends, family, coworkers, etc.) the opportunity to step up. Anxiety and depression effects how we think, behave, and work. Letting the people around you know what is going on so they can understand when you are not yourself or able to perform the way they are used to. It gives the people around you including spouses, coworkers, supervisors a heads up to what is going on so they can support. This takes their pressure off working, parenting, performing, living …. exactly what is needed.
Therapy
The therapeutic benefits of talking about anxiety and depression cannot be overstated. It is so important to talk about this. Therapy and counselling often have such a negative stigma and people are embarrassed. In all actuality, counselling is a wonderful thing and saves lives. Everyone should have some form of counselling or coaching. We are seeing this more and more with athletes getting sport psychologists, executives getting stress performance coaching, etc. Good counselors can help work though underlying issues, assess lifestyle, help direct toward constructive thinking and behavior, and if need be provide help from a medicinal standpoint. The key is good counselors. Find them. It is worth it.
Our Experience
Todd: When my wife was suffering from PTSD triggered anxiety one of the best things that she could do was talk about it. And she did. She was one of the few that did not try to hide it. Although at the time, to be completely honest it was overwhelming to me. I thought that she was talking about it too much and I was concerned she was talking herself into more anxiety. In hindsight, I needed help as much as she did and I should have talked more about it. Looking back now, I am so thankful that she was communicating to me and the people around us. By doing this she found amazing people that really stepped up. She found support groups. Most importantly, through talking about it she found great counseling.
Liliana: Going through the war (Sarajevo Story) was nothing compared to going through anxiety. Talking about what I was going through
To see more on the value of talking through anxiety and depression see our member forum
Is there such a thing as too much of a good thing? When it comes to Information and anxiety it can be a double edged sword.
Yes, it is true we can get too much information. When my wife first started getting anxiety symptoms*** she did not know they were anxiety symptoms. This information would have been good to know. Unfortunately, this was the beginning of a long journey on the road of information. We have seen it time and time again since my wife’s recovery… googleitis. So many people get googleitis, or the impulse to obsessively online search. As logical as this seems, this process can create huge mental and emotional havoc that is detrimental to stress related conditions.
It was really hard to see her searching and searching for information on anxiety and seemingly becoming so confused. Watching this, as a husband and a friend it panicked me, frustrated me, and confused me. It felt like the more she searched the worse she got.
After countless turns through the revolving door of specialists reviewing her symptoms and eliminating conditions, someone finally concluded that this was anxiety. That is when it got really scary. As a great unknown, her search for information on anxiety ignited. Seemingly uncontrollable, I became really worried. She was on so many online sites and talking to so many people it was like a barrage of information. This information, unfortunately most of which was conflicting and really fear inflicting did not seem to help.
Do you want to write something here?
The Outcome
Thankfully, as a very intelligent person she was able to decipher through the mountains of content and extract what she needed. She came in contact with some amazing therapists and sources of information. These connections were invaluable. The sources of information that she found were trustworthy and effective. Although not all of the info and strategies worked for her, as we are all different, it helped all of us to get a better understanding. The importance of this research and it’s impact on our lives is a primary factor in creating this site as a resource for those suffering from anxiety, depression and stress related conditions.
In hindsight, her science research background helped tremendously that she was eventually able to find credible content and discard the loads of detrimental info. Not to say we did not go off on some wild, fruitless and possibly damaging searches, me included, but we found the answers that we needed. It took time. It was not easy. We made mistakes. Most importantly we found success. So will you.
