Anxiety and Communication: Talking Through Pain (Part 1)
Talking Through Anxiety: Communication for Healing
Anxiety, depression and other stress related conditions have been traditionally very difficult to talk about. Thankfully, this is changing. The world has become more aware of anxiety conditions. Mental and emotional health are being treated far more seriously than in the past and people are having more understanding of the pain others suffer. Through this, more people are able to talk about anxiety and stress related issues. For the anxiety sufferer, talking is vital. It is one of the pillars of recovery. It is assumed that talking about these issues is helpful exclusively in the context of therapy, but communicating through stress related conditions is important on so many other levels.
Why Talk About Anxiety?
Talking about depression and anxiety is healthy for us and the people around us. As stress, anxiety, depression, ptsd, trauma, etc. impacts people internally, it also impacts the world around us. Understanding this, we realize that work, relationships, and social interaction will all be impacted. As much as we fear this, people around us recognize when we are not ourselves. And so they should. Hopefully the people we work with, our families, and friends are people who care. By telling them what is going on gives them a chance to hear what is going on. It gives them a chance to realize what we are going through. A chance to listen, understand and respond. It gives them the opportunity to help.
Sharing Anxiety
Anxiety can put enormous strain on relationships. Being exhausted, emotional, distant, irritable, detached, worried, angry are all the byproducts of emotional distress. When we exhibit these, relationships are impacted. It is essential for the people around us to understand why. Not knowing what is going on can create a great deal of tension in relationships. This creates more stress. That is the last thing we need. Anxiety is so difficult to understand. Difficult for those suffering and those we interact with. Inevitably our family, loved ones, friends, coworkers and those we associate with can be effected by our suffering. Not only can this effect our personal lives, but our social and work lives.
Anxiety at Work
Anxiety conditions can affect our work in many ways. As a result of anxiety and depression, we are sometimes not ourselves or at our best. Attendance, performance, communication, and demeanor can all be impacted by anxiety conditions. Therefore, letting certain people we work with know what we are going through is important. Supervisors at work should know. When informed, supervisors and management will most times be understanding. The good ones will.
By communicating to supervisors, we give them visibility of the situation as well as the opportunity to support us through anxiety. Often times, when supervisors understand what is going on they can make accommodations. In view of what we are experiencing they can juggle schedules and plan additional resources to support. Resulting in less pressure on us. Truly a good thing.
Anything to reduce stress is a must. Talking to supervisors is not only in your best interest, but in theirs as well. Knowing what is going on gives supervisors the ability to plan ahead and make sure that work is being covered. As much as supervisors hope that their teams are at full strength at all times, most understand that this is not realistic. Most would much rather know what is going on and be able to plan than to be blindsided by not knowing.
As well as supervisors, coworkers that we closely interact with will realize when we are not ourselves. Sharing with them what is going on could also be a good thing. Often our work is related to other people’s work, they may even depend on us. Furthermore, for them to know when we are going through difficult times is valuable. Giving our coworkers some insight provides them with some background when we our work is impacted.
Reducing stress if vital. For this reason we should try to alleviate complication and any points of unnecessary pressure. Having said that, coworkers and supervisors may not need to know everything, but depending on your relationships talking to your coworkers can help. The key is to know who to share with and how much. See below.
Talking Through Anxiety: Family
Anxiety conditions adds stress to almost every part of life. Most areas of life are impacted by anxiety, but non greater than close relationships. For that reason, talking to family, spouses and partners is vital. For their good, our good and the good of the relationship it is essential to talk. Adding to anxiety conditions with relationship stress makes everything worse. When we are suffering our behavior changes. This is normal. In reality, if we do not talk about it to the people around us they have no idea what is going on. As a result, they will see it, feel it and experience it but have no opportunity to understand. Instead of giving them the opportunity to support us, we put stress on the relationship.
For someone suffering anxiety conditions any stress is harmful. Particularly when it comes to relationships. Stress of this kind negatively impacts relationships and recovery of the person suffering. On the other hand, the support of a loved one or people we are in a relationships with can be a huge boost in recovery. Having an understanding partner is invaluable.
Communicating with our partners gives them understanding of what you are going through. Talking about what we are feeling and getting assurance that you are being supported is huge. Having someone that we trust to talk to allows us to vocalize what we are going through is so beneficial. Expressing ourselves is key to recovery. Although these people cannot get us through the pain, that is our own journey (see Anxiety: The Gift That Keeps on Giving), their support helps tremendously.
As much as the strain that anxiety applies to relationships, it can also bring people together. As our family has lived through and recovered from anxiety it has made our relationships so much stronger. Talking was and still is an integral part of this. Through the onset, struggling through recovery and living after anxiety we talked. We learned. Grew. And still grow.
Keep talking, have faith and know that it gets better.