The technology that we have available to us can be amazing. It can be used to connect, share info, learn, and grow. On the other hand, it can cause problems, particularly in regards to mental health. Generally, this applies to all walks of life, but for now I would like to address mental and emotional wellness in children and youth. So what is Technologies effect the Problem of Youth Anxiety and Depression

I was at a high school recently and on my way out I noticed a group of girls sitting in a circle at lunch hour. As I approached, I expected talking, laughing and loudness. Maybe some gossip. Some whispers of their latest crushes and all that one would come to expect from a group of 14 year olds. To my surprise, the disruptive behavior, or mischievous conversation that I was expecting from a group of 15 teenage girls on lunch break was not to be seen. Or heard. In fact, they were silent. As I walked by not one eye lifted. Not one of them noticed me. Or anything else for that matter. Disappointingly, the ruckus and conversation I expected was nowhere to be seen. Just the eerie glow screens shining up from their hands as they munched down lunch. 

The Story has Changed. 

What is the story of cell phone and our kids. Cell phones and tech is a part of life. For most people it is a necessity. We need and used technology for so many facets of life including work and sometimes school. No debate from me. However there are a few myths surrounding these devices that we should look at.

Firstly, we were made to believe that our children needed these phones for their own safety. This may be valid. If our children are walking home, need to call for rides, are out at night for activities phone are great to ensure their safety. Although useful for this, I believe this covers about 1% of what phone are actually used for. A vast majority of phone use goes into games, social media and entertainment. If you don’t believe me check our the “screen time” monitor on you child’s phone (or your own). It is under settings. It is usually shocking.

Following this story is the idea that phones are necessary for young people to communicate. This may also be valid to a point. The use of phones, more specifically the apps and social media are used for “connecting” people. Connection of people is vital. Given the time and the place, technology can serve an amazing function in this. To look at it deeper, is connection really what is happening though. The companies that sell billions of dollars in phones, technology and apps would like us to believe this. On the contrary, instead of connecting people is it possible they actually could be a way of isolating people. 

Connections

We can and should be considered pack animals. Truly, we need connectivity. We need people and interaction. As a species, we do not do well with isolation. We suffer. Our mental health suffers. Our physically health suffers. As does our emotional well-being. Indisputably, the outcome in situations of long term isolation is not positive. For example, take a healthy person in normal life, remove them from their family and friends. Limit their access to socializing for an expended period of time. Before long, loneliness and sadness creeps in and this person’s demeanor will change. Their level of wellness will change and they suffer. 

Isolation

How prisons work? Basically, it comes down to limiting freedom. Limiting ability to socialize is part of this. Further to this, how do prisons punish people when they break the laws or rules of the prison? They are placed in solitary confinement. Segregation. Isolation. Pain. Torture. It is one of the worst punishments to people. Solitary confinement is the epitome of punishment and ways of inflicting pain on a human being.

Another example, is Tom Hanks in the movie Cast Away. After a plane crash, he was stranded on an island completely alone. Once he established how to survive, food, water, shelter, he had it made. Right? Tropical paradise, healthy food, lots of sun, no rules. What else could one ask for? Sound good? Not a chance. Maybe for a week or two things would be ok, but not for long.

In this movie, his biggest struggle was not his physical survival, it was his mental/emotional survival. It was being alone. Thankfully, he took action. Understanding his own loneliness, Tom Hanks made friends with a volleyball named Wilson who helped him keep his sanity until being rescued. Sorry if I gave away the ending of the movie, but there is a statute of limitations on movie spoilers (20 years). Still watch the movie. Besides the scene with the figure skate it is a great movie.

An important point for his survival is that he knew he was alone. More importantly he knew why he was unhappy. He knew what he needed. Companionship. Same with prisoners in solitary confinement. They know they are isolated. They know they are alone. The pain is recognizable and understandable.

Acting on Loneliness

Generally, people can recognize when they are isolated and in most cases they can act on it. In the event that someone is lonely they can usually do something about it. In most cases people can get together with other people, socialize and connect. Technology like Meetup.com addresses just this, by bringing people with similar interests together. Sports teams are great for this as are clubs, groups, community organizations, etc. Understanding that the source of pain is loneliness and engaging with others is a great step in making us feel better. On a biological level connecting and bonding with people releases oxytocin which makes us feel good and reduces stress. Certainly if we recognize we are lonely we can do something about it. But what if we don’t recognize it?

In contrast to the prisoner in solitary confinement or a person stranded alone on an island, with social media we may not know we are alone. We may not be able to recognize our pain is loneliness. For a young person who has limited visibility of the world, social media can be confusing. Even deceiving. Most people have a few people in their social media world. Some a lot. These are their Instagram and Twitter followers, Facebook friends, and Snapchat whatevers you call thems. They are not hard to find. In fact they are easy to find. Follow enough people, some will follow you back. Friend request enough people, many will accept. Clearly it is not difficult to build a “friend” group. Similarly, it is easy to keep them. This is the problem. This is not socializing.

The Mystery of Modern Loneliness

As young people go about the routine of social media culture by building these “friend” groups the lines and definitions of socializing, friendship and relationship can become blurred. More importantly the concept of loneliness can become blurred. This can be a dangerous thing.

Technology and Youth Anxiety and Depression. In contrast to the cast away or convict who know why they are lonely, sad, or depressed, our young people may not be able to identify the source of their pain. After all how could someone with 1000 Instagram followers be lonely? The problem is huge. Not being able to identify the root of the problem usually means not being able to find the solution.  (good article)

The isolation created by social media can be heavy, deceiving and incredibly detrimental. As social pressure rise (Future Article), our children are not provided the tools to deal with it. Today, they are less likely to turn to actual people for support. Rather, they are more likely to turn to social media. It can become a circle of stress, turning to social media (friends) for support, feeling more alone as social media provides no empathy. No real connection. Instead of calling up a friend and sitting to talk they sit alone looking at a screen that does not respond with sincerity, authenticity or reality. This is a problem.

See more on post on youth anxiety and depression.